It is time...

Y'all, it's time. Just turned 30, mother of two, I am sick of being fat. Not for vanity reasons. I've always been mostly comfortable in my skin, though I've been overweight - actually, I hate that word - FAT for most of my life. That is not to say I don't wish I were thinner for aesthetics too. While I've always been confident, there is nothing I hate more than having an unedited, poorly shot picture of me posted on social media. An eternal sentence in the 9th ring of hell for any and all 'friends' who post unflattering pictures of me!

No, I'm sick of being fat because life is hard. I have two toddlers and keeping up with them is a challenge. Walking around with my husband puts me out of breath. My father has been diagnosed with diabetes and I don't want to be next. I gained 20 lbs over the Christmas Holidays and topped out at the highest I've ever weighed...in my life. It was a wake up call. I've got to do something. Going down this path leads to being 50 and 400 lbs. I will not do that to myself and I will not do it to my family.

But here's the problem. I'm fully aware of why I'm fat. It's a frustrating mixture of loving food, hating getting off my ass, and shit genes. I still love food. I will always love food. Chocolate is a favorite of mine. And cheese. Oh sweet Jesus how I love cheese - on just about everything. Trying fad diets has never and will never work for me. I have to be able to eat what I want (within reason). I still hate getting off my ass. I'm told that after a while it will get easier and at some point I'll love it. Such a scenario seems highly unlikely, but we'll see. Genes, well...I can't do much about those, can I? So, while it might be an uphill battle, I'm just going to have to decide to deal.

I plan to do pretty regular updates. I'll keep you abreast of what I'm eating, what exercise I'm doing, how I'm feeling. My struggles and my successes. I'll try to maintain some kind of integrity by posting a Q&A every week or so updating my stats. (Fuck, did I just willingly decide to tell the internet how much I weigh?)

For now, let me generally tell you my plan. I got a fitbit and I love it. It motivates me to keep moving. No way do I want to come in last on my step count up against people who actually KNOW ME! I am a bit competitive that way. I'm also doing workout videos. I know, how stay-at-home-mom of me. Well, I'm a stay at home mom. And besides, who doesn't love a little Billy Blanks nostalgia tour with Tae bo work outs?! Right now, I have not clearly defined exercise plan. At this point, just doing ANYTHING will be an improvement.

For food, I'm watching my carb and sugar intake. I'm not cutting them. It is unreasonable for me. But I'm going to stick to complex carbs as much as possible and try very hard to avoid giving into every sweet craving I have, or substituting with something healthier. Like last night, I was craving chocolate and had decaf coffee with about 5 Splenda packets instead. Okay, that's probably not the best example. I'm still a work in progress. I'm going to cook meals with lots and lots of fresh produce and smaller portions of meat, trying to stick to leaner meats. I'm not going to eat just because I'm bored.

And that's about it for now, folks. Without further ado, I give to you the obligatory 'before' picture (from my 30th birthday just a week ago with be loving husband) and my very first Q&A.

Weight: 270

Weight loss to date: 0

Dress size: 24

Waist (inches): I need to get a tape measure. Will do that this week.

Arms (Inches): See above.

Hips (Inches): Yep.

Cravings: Chocolate. So much chocolate. I dream about chocolate at night.

Workouts this week: Rocking the Tae bo. When it gets too hard I run in place which is, surprisingly easier that then work out at times. 

Struggles: Motivation to work out. When the kids nap, omg I just want to join them!

Positive notes: I'm feeling good about how well I've kept my diet this week. I'm really hoping I can make this a lifestyle change!